"Be careful, Ryan, be careful!"
My oldest son is developmentally delayed due to cerebral palsy. Cognitively he is fine but his speech is significantly affected. So we are happy to hear almost anything he says and we spend a lot of time encouraging him. Sometimes it takes the form of him insisting " 'ommy, 'ommy, juice!" and me replying by folding my arms across my chest, looking at him, waiting, and finally prompting "I...". He kicks in "I want some juice." [pause while he looks expectantly at me] "p'eeease.". Sometimes he talks to himself "No spitting Ryan." or his brother "No push 'briel.". But what really caught my ear was when I heard him murmuring to himself "Be careful Ryan, be careful.". It was a perfect echo of my words. But do I really say it that often? Is that what he remembers? How am I warping his little mind?
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In all honesty, it isn't such a bad thing for him to remember. Ryan's balance is poor and he doesn't always put his arms out to catch himself when he falls. A couple of times when he was tired he fell face first on pavement and there was that nasty noise when skull met concrete. So I hear myself intoning over and over again "Be careful." "Point your eyes in the direction your feet are going." "Watch where you are going." "Can we practice not falling so much?". There are other phrases I use too.
"You may be handicapped but you certainly aren't helpless".
"You had a turn, now it is Gabriel's turn." (Naturally leading to "Ryan's turn! Ryan's turn!")
Mini-lecture:
"When you make a mess, I have to clean it up and I do not like cleaning up messes. It is in your best interest to help keep Mommy in a good mood by not making messes."
My own mother used to say "What's a little extra protein?" if a finger got cut while preparing a meal. (We did not use the tainted ingredients. My mother has a fine sense of humor, just a little twisted.)
So what are you teaching your children? Or what parental advice replays in your own head?
[First diary alert! All pointers, hints and gentle criticism welcome.)